A Fairly Peaceful BFN

So our third IUI failed. Not a big surprise, since I hadn’t had any implantation symptoms, and on 15dpiui my morning BBT dropped way below coverline. Last night I had my first beer in awhile to commiserate. It was pretty tasty.

A fidgety child (maybe 6 years old) was sitting at the table next to us, eating spaghetti with his fingers and playing on his mom’s iPhone. Elizabeth and I drank our beer and confidently assured one another we will not let our 6-year-old play with an iPhone at the table. (Oh, the promises you find so easy to make when you don’t have children yet!)

Two beers.

Overall I think we did it right this time, not taking a pregnancy test. We decided it was just too anxiety-provoking to watch the little white screen, hoping for a second pink line. Much easier to just watch my temperature gently fall and go on about our lives until my period started. (I refuse to call it AF. That’s too much of a cartoon name for a time of the month that just feels sad.)

We’re going to go for our 4th in a couple of weeks. Our first two IUIs were totally natural, and our third was triggered (Ovidrel) from my right follicle. We’re going to try triggering one more time, this time the left, to see if that tube is better. Symmetry and all. I’m switching acupuncturists and trying to stay positive.

If the 4th cycle fails…not sure what’s next. It’s hard to keep chopping your own expectations down while trying to stay hopeful and positive. I kept thinking that I would definitely be pregnant by this summer, but now it’s feeling less and less likely. We’ll definitely take a month off after the next IUI to think and recuperate, although I hate stopping now that the momentum of TTC is so comforting and familiar. We will probably move to IVF if we can figure out a way to swing it financially.

We also ate cake, after we drank the beer. That helped, too.

The cake we ate.
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2 comments

  1. Beer and cake were my comforts this month after my BFN also! Lol more alike than we think. Sorry about your BFN but I’m glad you seem to be handling it well. Are you seeing an RE? Is there a reason you want to go to IVF after 3 IUI’s? Just curious about your process and any “infertility” you face.

  2. Ha! Oh the comforts of sugar and alcohol. 🙂

    Yes, we are seeing an RE at a reproductive clinic. One of the reasons we are thinking of going to IVF is because we only bought 7 vials of sperm, and I’ve already used up 3 of them. We were hoping to keep a few for my wife so she can carry as well in a couple of years. With IVF you can potentially get a bunch of embies from a single vial, so we’d have more cycles packed in. But the cost is a bit prohibitive right now. We’re going to do a 4th IUI now and see what happens.

    Our RE doesn’t think I’m infertile per say; she just says “it takes time.” I have some concern that I have endometriosis because my periods are so painful, but doctors have always waved it off when I bring it up. But other than that, I have pretty regular periods, I get an LH surge every month, our donor has other reported pregnancies, and I’m a pretty healthy woman. So maybe it’s all about timing.

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