A Very Dull 7dpiui

A week ago today I had my 5th iui. I wish I had something to report, but I don’t.

Other than some monster ovulation pain the day of the iui (thanks, Clomid!), I’ve felt totally, disappointingly normal. No symptoms at all. I have some emotion-feels about that.

The 2WW is really like some kind of backwards twilight zone, where nausea and cramping and suffering are good signs, things that make you really happy to experience. But this peaceful, asymptomatic wellbeing is a total bummer. And then there are days 7-10 where you’re hoping to see blood every time you go to the bathroom (implantation!), but then by day 13 you feel a wash of relief when the toilet paper comes back white (no period!).

Near the end of our last 2WW I went to pee and had a moment of early-morning confusion when I wiped–what was it I wanted to see today? What day was it? Where is the calendar?

Anyway, this time around we’re doing nothing. No early testing, no BBT charting. Not even really talking about babies or the process or what we even plan on doing next. We have one vial of our donor left, and roughly enough infertility coverage left to pay for most of one more cycle. Then our coverage ends until 2015. So the plan is likely one more cycle and then another break, unfortunately.

I’ll be 33 in March, and the closer I get to that birthday, the louder the clock ticks. Every month is starting to feel meaningful, precious. A slowly fading tide. A draining bathtub. Other metaphors, etc. When we started this process in January I really did not expect to enter August still un-pregnant. Elizabeth is going on a trip with her friends later this month, and when she made the plans in January, I said, “But I could be eight months pregnant then!” Now the idea seems kind of hilarious–but that’s the attitude you have to have when you enter in to this whole TTC thing: expect everything, be ready for nothing.

Wishing everyone in the 2WW some peace!

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13 comments

  1. We’re wait buddies! I’m 6 dpiui today. My wife and I also started the process in January and am amazed whenever I think about the fact that I’m only on my 3rd IUI and it is already August. Sending all the peace I can muster. I hope this is the one for both of us.

    I wish I had the willpower not to chart this 2ww, but I’m totally with you on avoiding early testing. Given that in the end, it has all been out of our control since the IUI, there is just no reason to obsess over every little thing. But, of course, we do it anyway. Best of luck again. Fingers crossed.

    1. Glad to hear we’re cycle buddies! Wishing you buckets of peace & patience, too. When are you going to test?

      1. I think we’ll take a HPT on Monday or Tuesday. We’ve never gotten a beta before…we typically just wait for my period to start. I’m feeling a little antsy this time, though.

  2. really tho!!! how true! waiting for implantation bleeding one day and the next your hoping there is no bleeding. hoping the 2ww has a nice surprise at the end!!!

      1. haha seriously though. All my IUIs were as romantic and peaceful as we could make it. This one was very hectic and mechanical. it pays off to be a maniac sometime ;p

  3. Apparently we’re TTC twins. We started trying in January, we’re surprised to still be trying in August, and I’ll be 33 next July. I really hope this month worked for you – many people have NO symptoms until 6ish weeks! And remember, some peeps manage to make it 9 months without realizing they are pregnant, so hang in there!

  4. I’m there with you on age and plans. We had initially planned to start trying in Feb, then that got moved to April, then after a couple failed tries I lost my job and we’re waiting until I’m out of the probationary period at the new one, so we’ll try again in September. We had originally been thinking “November Baby”, but now it looks like July at the earliest.

    1. I admire your resolve to wait until the time is right. I see a lot of people jumping into the process–or refusing to stop–when the funds or the timing just isn’t right. It’s hard to do! But I hear patience pays off…:)

      1. Thanks I hope so. I also hope you don’t have to wait until 2015, but totally understand it if you do. Fertility seems very fickle.

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