Big Fat Disappointment

Have you ever turned off the alarm in the morning, gotten up, showered, and gotten dressed, only to then wake up and realize you had actually hit snooze and now you’re late for work?

That happened to me this morning, except I got up, went to the bathroom, POAS, and got a BFP. I went to the bedroom to tell Elizabeth, but then I looked down and saw that the two lines were flashing and changing shapes, and my heart sank as I realized I was only dreaming.

So I woke up for real, went to the bathroom, POAS, and got a BFN. Got back into bed.

I feel pretty much the same as always: disappointed, but not surprised. Neither one of us cried this time.

Then I turned on Facebook to see a friend announce that his girlfriend is expecting a baby. Neither one of these kids are financially or emotionally ready for a baby, and yet one has miraculously begun to grow for them. For free!

I was not feeling so much appreciative joy so I shut the phone off.

Now Elizabeth and I are drinking coffee and watching a squirrel transfer his litter of babies from one tree to another. He takes them down one at a time, pauses in the yard to readjust the wriggling things in his mouth, and climbs up the tree on the east side of the yard. He stops a few times on the way up to catch his breath. Then scurries down the end of the longest branch at the top and tucks his baby inside. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a squirrel do something that makes sense to me, and it’s fascinating.


One comment

  1. HUGS, so sorry to hear about the BFN and I’m sure it sucks to see the announcements of others. I can’t imagine how hard that much be. My thoughts are with you both!

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