Post-transfer weekend

On Friday, the morning of my embryo transfer, I threw my neck out. This has never happened to me before, but as I tipped my head up to hug my wife (who was standing, as I was sitting), my neck just stuck that way. I’ve been in pain since, and can’t really move much.

My RE prescribed valium for the transfer, and that might have helped a little, but not much. Also? I know valium is supposed to help relax your uterus, but what is the sense in drugging me up and then asking me to make important decisions about how many embryos to transfer? The doctor was showing us a chart with statistics and pictures of our blasts right before the procedure, but I really felt so tired and focused on my full bladder that I didn’t care.

In the end, we transferred one, and we have five more frozen. The actual transfer itself took three minutes, and it would have been awe-inspiring to watch the little guy get deposited in real-time on the ultrasound screen, but the valium glazed me over with a sense of real apathy about everything. Kind of a bummer. There was classical music playing overhead, and my wife was stroking my hand as we watched the glowing spot in my uterus, and I kept thinking, “I should be having more feelings about this.”

Then I came home and slept most of the day. Today the valium has worn off, thankfully, but I don’t really feel any different than before the transfer. Slight cramping, but the progesterone has been causing that anyway. Elizabeth and I have a pretty strong feeling–and we have always had this feeling–that the first cycle is not going to work. That’s why we bought the multiple-try package. So next weekend when we test we’ll have a delightful surprise if it’s BFP, but (I hope) no real shock if it’s not.

When we decided to buy the 6-cycle package–which costs about the same as 3 cycles–but were a little nervous about the price tag, my wife sealed the deal by putting it like this: “If we buy this package and get pregnant on the first try, we’ll say, ‘crap’ because of the wasted money. But if we don’t buy this package and the first cycle fails, we’ll be more like FUUUUUUCK.” I liked that reasoning.

I think I’ll test next Friday, at 7dp5dt.



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