Chugging along at 9w2d

Not too much to report, other than that the nausea and headaches been constant and unforgiving. And the DREAMS! I feel so exhausted every morning when I wake up, because the whole night has been fraught with complicated narratives and long-forgotten memories. Vivid images from summer camp, lyrics from songs I haven’t heard in fifteen years–it’s like my childhood is unfolding again before my eyes.

I had my first prenatal visit with an NP on Monday. I had a little wriggling hope that she might try to Doppler me, but it was just an hour of questions: Do I smoke? Am I depressed? Have I had a flu shot?

Then she plopped a 200-page booklet on pregnancy and child-rearing on my lap, and I began to feel a little overwhelmed as I flipped through it. There are so many things to consider! In-rooming, breastfeeding, natural delivery, etc. etc. I feel like anything beyond the first trimester still feels a little unreal.

We have our nuchal translucency scan and 12-week ultrasound scheduled for June 3. My wife and I were at first a little unsure whether we wanted to do any screening at all, but my parents had a daughter with spina bifida before I was born, and as the weeks go by I feel a little more nervous and want to be prepared for anything.

Other than that, I feel crappy most of the time, exhausted and sick, but with this underpinning of excruciating joy. It’s a bizarre feeling. I tear up at everything in the world, which I just now realized is SO beautiful.

Also, my belly has started to poke out down low, over my uterus, though I’ve actually lost 6 pounds. My wife made me a little nest in her office so I could take a nap on the floor during my lunch break today. Life is good.

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6 comments

  1. So glad things are going well. First trimester exhaustion was totally debilitating for me too! Napping = best thing ever. The one thing I’ve learned about parenting for sure is that there are very few things you can do “wrong”. There are so many different ways to go about pregnancy/birth/parenting, and in general I think it comes pretty naturally, where your baby will let you know what works and what doesn’t. Take a deep breath and try not to be overwhelmed!

  2. I was so grateful during the first trimester to be working a job that allowed me to sleep in and nap during the day. But I was working on a college campus, and in close quarters with so many people I had a few people notice my sickness and guess before I was ready to share. Take care of yourself, enjoy this time, and don’t get overwhelmed by the all the advice and info. You will find what works for you, and sort it out as you go. And that’s totally fine. 🙂

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